Back To Normal, But Never The Same
How are you doing? This is a question I’m asked quite often these days. And it’s not the typical quick wave and comment as people walk by. It’s a sincere desire to know how I’m feeling and doing following the November surgery. While I share a little with people, there is so much more to the story that most people don’t know; so many facets and details and stories within the story that make this kidney-donation experience more significant and life-changing for me than I ever imagined it would be. Allow me to share one such example:
A sweet couple from church is fostering a 5 year- old girl whom we like to call Sunshine. The first few years of Sunshine’s life were horrific. And coming into this loving and godly home has not only brought her stability and safety, it has introduced her to a God who loves her and listens to her. At some point, this family connected with Al and Sandy (my now extended-by-kidney-connection family). And this little girl fervently prayed every day for months for her friend, Mr. Al, to get a kidney. One day, out of sheer desperation, she cried out, “God…PLEASE, give Mr. Al a kidney…TOMORROW!” The next morning I got the call from the hospital confirming the surgery was a go!
The moment I heard this, I began to see that this was so much bigger than I first realized…certainly so much bigger than me, and even bigger than even Al’s need. This was something God was going to use in ways completely unexpected. God has shown Himself to be exceedingly good, beyond gracious, and utterly faithful, so much so that words fail to adequately express the state of my heart.
Al was told to expect to wait up to 8 years to receive a transplant, and God granted him what he needed within 7 months! There were at least 8 people who stepped forward to be tested as a potential donor for Al. And God chose me. As we wrestle and wonder about the ways of God, we’re also profoundly grateful.
I anticipated what God would do in Al. I did not, however, anticipate all that God would do in me…and I can’t even express exactly what that is, because I am still processing it. But isn’t that just like God?! So big He cannot be explained. So big He cannot be exaggerated. Who is like our God?!
To follow up with precious little Sunshine, I recently gave her the kidney- shaped pillow the hospital sent me home with for my recovery. I want that little girl to have a tangible reminder that God hears and answers every single prayer uttered from her lips. For the nightmares she endures as a result of her traumatic beginnings, I want her to squeeze that pillow tight and know that Jesus is with her, protecting her, and loving her with an everlasting love. Who would have ever thought all these lives would intersect and then be inextricably linked in such a way? And this is just an example of God’s work in this. We’ve seen so many other details and answered prayers and unexpected blessings. We stand in absolute awe. Al and I so deeply long for God to be glorified in and through this story. He sent me a text a while back that read, “Heaven will be fuller because of your selfless gift.” Dear God, let it be so.
So back to the question, “How are you doing?” Physically speaking, I’m pretty much back to normal. Spiritually speaking, I will never be the same. I don’t want to simply talk about how I’m doing; I want to share what GOD is doing, because this is HIS story and all along my prayer has been that I would be faithful to tell it. So with every fiber of my being, I pray, “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name – TO YOU BE ALL THE GLORY!”
