Thoughts From Home
It’s been several months since the words “go home” first caused me to shutter and sparked the fire in my soul to ignite once again. In case you may not know, “go home” was spoken as the knee-jerk reaction from a highly influential pastor regarding another well-known author and teacher, one who also happens to be a woman.[1] I have many thoughts and personal opinions on said situation that until now, I have not ventured to share publicly. But after recently reading an article revealing what should be unspeakable, I can no longer hold my peace. The article described conversations among male denominational and church leaders. The derogatory, crude, and entirely inappropriate comments about their sisters in Christ included the following:
“I wish her husband loved her enough to tell her to shut up.”
“They became man-haters because they’ve used up their sex capitol.”
“Why can’t these women just take their shoes off and make us some sandwiches?!”[2]
Ummmm….EXCUSE ME?!?! This is beyond infuriating. And what’s worse is that in both of these situations, the immediate response was laughter instead of rebuke. What?!?! This type of dismissive disregard in ministry not only degrades women, it reflects poorly on the entire church, and I believe it grieves the heart of God Himself. These men need to be held accountable for this behavior! I am outraged to know that some Christian men believe that women were created for nothing more than serving them and raising children. How can these men, how can these church leaders, even allow those repulsive thoughts turn into the words that came out of their mouths? Not only are these men speaking in a way that opposes a life led by the Spirit, but they also evidence blatant contradictions to the qualifications for church leaders given in Scripture – the very same passages they use to support their “men only” views. There are many layers of concern regarding women in ministry leadership, but that is not my point for writing. For some, what started as an issue of theology or Scriptural interpretation has become more an issue of disgusting, ugly pride. The idea that to encourage and support women in their giftedness in the church is to give them an inch – and they’ll undoubtedly take a mile…and before we know it, the church and the world will be headed to hell in a hand basket – is absolutely ludicrous! It wreaks of both arrogance and insecurity. The church and the world need both men and women, working together in unity, to fulfill the mission of God. If it were not so, He would not have created both male and female.
Most godly women are not looking to take over or usurp anyone’s authority, but rather to be faithful to God by using the gifts He has graciously granted and to be valued as the equal image bearers that we are. I actually feel bad for these men because they are failing to see beyond their own egos to recognize that not only are women created in the image of God, but we’ve also been gifted by Him to further His kingdom. And believe it or not, some of those gifts are meant to be utilized beyond the walls of our homes. I am scared for these men because as church leaders, they will be held accountable for what God has granted to them, including how they’ve treated the women in their spheres of influence, how they’ve treated women as sisters in the Lord. They will answer for the way they’ve either encouraged and empowered women or how they’ve disregarded, under-valued, and dismissed these same women.
This issue is personal to me because I am a Christian woman with a passion for teaching God’s Word and using my gifts to point others to Christ. And I have a daughter with strong leadership skills and a theological mind with a desire to teach transformational, doctrinal truth. But I know the battle she will face, for no other reason than that she’s a woman. There have been times, throughout my many years of ministry, when I have been stifled, when I have been under-utilized, when I have been dismissed. There were times I was essentially told to both “shut up” and “go home.” This should not be. The Body of Christ needs all its parts working together. When one suffers, the whole suffers. Likewise, when one is honored, all rejoice together.
Last year I met a man suffering from kidney failure. He needed a kidney transplant to essentially save his life. I had a healthy kidney to give him, and he humbly and gratefully accepted the gift. What I cannot seem to wrap my mind around is this: if I, as a woman, am able to give a man a physical gift that will forever change and potentially save his life, why am I not able to teach a man Jesus, giving him the gift that will eternally save his soul?
As I mentioned earlier, there are many layers to this issue of women in ministry leadership. And honestly, I have no desire to be a pastor. But I do believe God has called me to be a woman of influence. He has given me something to say. And when the message is from God, it should not matter if the voice delivering that message belongs to a man or a woman. Oh, how I have struggled with the inconsistencies on what I am allowed to do and what I am not. As I have laid myself out before the Lord, begging for clarity and wisdom, He has been gracious and kind. He has convicted my heart on what it is I am truly fighting for. He repeatedly reminds me that my confidence comes from my identity in Christ, and as I grow in the gifts I am certain God has granted to me, I can find peace. Peace in knowing that as a woman, I am created in the image of God. I rest in the fact that I am His beloved daughter. He has called me and chosen me for a purpose, and I am on this earth for such a time as this. God has blessed me with talents and spiritual gifts that I am responsible to use to build His kingdom and bring glory to His name. I am also confident that He will not call me to do anything outside His will. I will have to answer for what I do with this life. And I’ve spent far too much of it striving to earn man’s approval, trying to prove myself worthy, walking the tightrope of being enough without being too much, and listening to the voices who’ve told me to “go home.”
Home is not a bad place to be. I love being home. I cherish being a wife and a mama. But home is not the only place where women have worth and value. Home is not the only place where women can have a deep eternal impact. To insinuate as much is insulting. And to degrade the male counterpart is to degrade the very image of God. I choose to rest in who God, my Creator and Redeemer, says that I am. I will listen for HIS voice, obey HIS commands, and follow where HE leads, trusting Him to open doors and provide opportunities to live out this abundant life to the fullest. I will write when He says “write” and speak when He says “speak.” I will be quiet when HE tells me to “be quiet.” I will wholeheartedly do what God enables me to do. If I am invited to minister to a group of women and/or men, I will heartily welcome it – whether it’s in conversation, in my home, at my small group, or from a stage. There might be steps to make it up to the pulpit, but the ground is level at the foot of the cross. And that’s really where I want to be. There was no separating men from women when God poured out His Spirit on all flesh. God’s Word says both sons and daughters will prophesy. There were no gender specific lists in the giving of spiritual gifts, and no one was left empty-handed. Jesus wasn’t only addressing the male population when He said, “Go, make disciples of all nations, baptizing them and teaching them…”
The goal is not the power and authority of the pulpit. The goal is the power and authority of the gospel. And if I can give a man a gift that will physically save his life, I can absolutely give a man the gift that will spiritually save his soul.
So I will teach and preach Christ; I will live and love Christ; I will share and serve Christ in every facet of my life for as long as I have breath. And when God declares it’s time for me to go home, I will not shrink back: I will run to Jesus and stand before my Savior with humble confidence knowing I have finished the work He gave me to do.
*** sincerest gratitude for the godly men in my life who pray for me, encourage me, push me to use my gifts, who would never tell me to shut up, and who love like Jesus!
[1] Michel, Jen Pollock. “A Message to John MacArthur: The Bible Calls Both Men and Women to Go Home.” Christianity Today 24 Oct. 2019, https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/october-web-only/john-macarthur-bible-invites-both-men-women-go-home.html
[2] Stetzer, Ed. “Complementarians in Closed Rooms.” Christianity Today 19 June 2020, https://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2020/june/complementarians-closed-rooms-aimee-byrd-beth-moore.html
