This Is Me
I have long since graduated college, but this video inspires me. When merged with biblical principles, it fires me up; it ignites the passion in my soul. Why? Because “obedience” is the word God has given me this year. I don’t typically succumb to the tradition of choosing a theme word for a given time period, but last year I found “surrender” to be an uninvited yet necessary theme in my life. And as I have been slowly learning to surrender my life and my plans to the Almighty God, (you wouldn’t think it would be so hard- I mean, He is the ALMIGHTY God!), He has also been working in my heart to live in full obedience to what He is calling me to. And for far too long, I have chosen fear. I have given in to the fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of insufficiency, fear of man. But God is raising me up, challenging me to surrender, stretching me to obey and encouraging me to take a risk. And He keeps speaking this message to me in a variety of ways: devotionals, quiet time, social media clips, verses, quotes, conversations with friends, and yes, even Jim Carrey videos.
So here I am. God has given me a story to tell. He has gifted me with the ability to communicate well through written and spoken word, and He’s calling me to do something with it, something of eternal value. He has filled my heart with intense desire to share the truth of abundant life in Christ with others. I don’t just mean the message of eternal life after I die, but abundant “zoe”- fullness of life- right here, right now! I realize that some people simply don’t care and have already moved on to the next post. Others will read this and think I’ve said too much, made them uncomfortable. But I know there are some like me, on the verge, desperate for the encouragement to discover their purpose and the courage to obey God’s leading. To acknowledge the gift; to own the gift and to let God use it to do amazing things. As I was writing, this Ann Voskamp quote came across my newsfeed: “When you fear you aren’t enough or that you’re too much, you really fear the freeing beauty of being you.” Let me be clear in saying that I want to live out loud, to be authentic, to put myself out there. And while it completely terrifies me to do so, to risk means to choose faith over fear and to give up playing it safe. God doesn’t call us to play it safe. He calls us to obey. He’s calling me to obey. And that takes humility, surrender and a willingness to risk; it takes courage, vulnerability and a willingness to fail. It also takes an incredible amount of prayer! Abundant life is so much more than logical, comfortable Christianity. I want to be so engulfed in the will of God that He HAS to come through for me, not because I’m acting foolishly, but because I trust Him enough to know that He will! I want to pray big (and I don’t need to ask the universe, because I know the GOD of the universe!), and I want to expect big because this life God has for me is more and better than I could ever dream!
I know what God is calling me to do, what He has gifted me to do. I am to write. I am to speak. I am to courageously pour myself out. While I’m not sure exactly what that is going to look like, I do know that I have to start somewhere. The world says I have to “be someone” in order to be heard. I’m not Jim Carrey. I’m not Oprah. I’m not the pastor of a megachurch or a professor of theology. I don’t even have a four- year college degree. I am, however, a CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD, a daughter of the King of kings! I am seated at His table, and I am created in His image to do the works He planned in advance for me to do. So this is not about me trying to prove myself, but instead about boldly living out the purpose God has for me, being who He has created me to be.
So I am choosing to take a risk in doing what I love and believe God is calling me to. Things of earth will pass away and all that will be left of me is what from my heart I choose to invest in others. I long to let His shine through me and risk being seen in all my glory- glory that is but a mere reflection of the radiance of Jesus. And when I stand before God one day, I want to be able to say with absolute confidence, “I have completed the work You gave me to do.”
