Satisfied And Sheltered By The Most High
As soon as I read the title of the funeral message, I knew it was perfect: Satisfied and Sheltered by the Most High. In the midst of all that was happening in the earthly realm, I imagined what was simultaneously happening in the spiritual realm at the moment of death. I envision Jesus waiting at heaven’s gate, knowing exactly when Dad would arrive. In an instant, I see God the Father taking Dad into His arms in full embrace, holding him tightly to His chest. I hear Him whisper, “Welcome home, son.” I see Jesus bearing his full weight, just as He did on the cross, when Dad collapses in relief and rest, fully alive, satisfied and sheltered by the Most High God.
Psalm 91 says, “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” To be honest, I didn’t even hear this as the pastor read it out loud at the service. But in the days that have followed, these words continue to follow me.
My life has been insanely busy with responsibilities, my mind jumbled with so many thoughts as I navigate this grief. “What do you need?” people keep asking. Simply put, I need grace…and I need space. Because I really have no idea how to do any of this. What I need is to be satisfied and sheltered by the Most High. I need to abide in Christ. Though I am still on this side of heaven, I envision myself walking into the throne room of God. I am painfully aware how small and weak I am. I stand before God like a child, looking up to a big Father, so big that I can’t even see His face. But I’m not afraid. I know that I am welcomed into His presence and I feel much needed peace. Jesus immediately reaches down to pick me up. He gently sets me on His lap and gives me a minute to snuggle in. Then He wraps His everlasting arms around me and holds me close to His chest, bearing my full weight as I fall into His strength. We sit in comfortable silence as my heart settles and my mind begins to let go of all that I have brought in here with me. Slowly my body begins to relax. Soon I am oblivious to everything else as I sit here- just me and Jesus.
He is my Good Shepherd: He cares for me; He guides me; He shelters me; He knows me intimately. I shall not be in want: He provides for me; He satisfies my heart; He gives me peace. He makes me to lie down in green pastures: He offers me rest; He feeds my soul; He takes away all fear.
I hear His calm and steady breathing and feel His strong heart beating as I lean into Him. I close my eyes and savor the moment. I am safe. I am held by the arms of God. I am loved and fully satisfied. I am completely still.
He leads me beside quiet waters: He allows me to drink deeply from the fountain of life; He reminds me of His presence; He calms my heart. In the quiet I hear Jesus singing over me, softly at first, then building until His voice exults in song. My heart explodes at the realization that my Father delights in me! I am filled with unspeakable joy because I have a place. He has saved this seat just for me. As the melody continues, I take another deep breath, rest my head against His chest and simply enjoy this time- just me and Jesus.
He restores my soul: He heals my wounds; He mends my broken heart; He knows my fatigue. He refreshes my perspective; He renews my spirit. I see the scars on these hands that hold me. As I gently run my fingers over them, chills race up and down my arms. A tear drops into His open hand, and I notice that I am crying. I remember that Jesus was acquainted with grief. He knows my pain. Tears stream down my cheeks at the powerful reminder that those wounds were meant for me! He took them in my place. The Good Shepherd laid down His life for the sheep. For Dad. For me. But praise His name, the grave could not hold Him. He conquered death once and for all. It is finished! Completely. Victoriously. Oh, how I want to celebrate this truth!
I look up at Him, and He reveals His face. The love I see in His eyes pierces my very soul. Nowhere else have I ever seen such kindness, compassion and gentleness. He looks beyond the surface and reaches into the depths of my being. He meets me where I am and accepts me completely, hot mess that I am. He strengthens me. He comforts me. He reminds me that abundant life is full of hard and holy things. But in everything, I am His and He is mine. I am still. And I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, that He is God. And this is exactly what I need – to find refuge in Him, to abide in Christ, to be satisfied and sheltered by the Most High – one day, one hour, one moment at a time.
