Blog
ThroughTheValley
Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, You have brought me into the valley of vision, Where I live in the depths but see you in the heights; Hemmed in by mountains of sin and disease, I behold your glory.
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision.
To The One Who Will Wear The Tie
On our daughter’s 18th birthday, my husband and I gave her a tie. Yes, that’s right – a tie. Navy blue with pink and white stripes, the colors she’s chosen for her dream wedding. Even more than she dreams about the perfect wedding, we dream together about the man who will be God’s perfect match for her, the man who is beyond excited to spend the rest of his life loving her, the man who will be waiting for her at the front of the church wearing that tie. The gift was given as a visual reminder to her to keep praying for that man, to pray that God will raise him up and grow him and prepare him to lead and love her well.
Calm In The Chaos
It’s everywhere – TV screens, social media newsfeeds, radio, emails, meetings, formal statements, and casual conversations – reactions to the coronavirus is inescapable. The last 72 hours have been a whirlwind of epic proportions: colleges shut down campuses, professional sports teams suspend seasons, travel is limited or prohibited altogether, and stores are void of food and supplies. Our nation is in a state of emergency and panic. I don’t tend to get worked up about these things, and the virus itself doesn’t have me in a panic. But the frenzied reactions, the ever-changing scenarios and decisions, the frazzled shoppers, the constant chatter everywhere I turn – that creates anxiety in me and tempts me to give in to fear.
March Madness
Like many of you, around this time every year our staff members (those who choose to participate) pick teams, organize strategies, and intently watch the NCAA basketball tournament. The victories and the upsets bring about shifts to those famous brackets as everyone adjusts their expectations, all the while hoping to win the title of Bethel staff March Madness champion (and the promised, though most often imaginary) grand prize. I have never actually participated in these friendly shenanigans, but I know so many were incredibly disappointed when this year’s March Madness was cancelled.
Back To Normal, But Never The Same
How are you doing? This is a question I’m asked quite often these days. And it’s not the typical quick wave and comment as people walk by. It’s a sincere desire to know how I’m feeling and doing following the November surgery. While I share a little with people, there is so much more to the story that most people don’t know; so many facets and details and stories within the story that make this kidney-donation experience more significant and life-changing for me than I ever imagined it would be.
Wild Ride
As I step into the beginning of another year of life, I reflect on all God has done thus far. And I wonder what He will call me to in the future, especially in these next 366 days (it’s a leap year!). There have been many days over the years that I’ve spent seeking God’s will and questioning whether or not I am answering His call and fulfilling His purpose for me on this earth. I only get one chance, so I wanna be sure I get this right! But somewhere along the way, I have learned that God’s grand purpose for me is to glorify Him, and He will graciously give me innumerable opportunities in this lifetime to do exactly that!
Like An Amaryllis - Take 2
God taught me so much about the beauty of creation and life through my first amaryllis experience last winter. And I’ve really been looking forward to what new things God would reveal to me in year two. After its dormant season, I replanted my amaryllis bulb mid-November and waited for new growth to begin. As expected, the leaves sprouted, growing healthy and green and tall. But for reasons I don’t know, this year the blooms never came.
Cradle To The Cross - Part 1
I slowly shuffled into the stable, so tired I could barely put one foot in front of the other. Joseph held onto me as the innkeeper quickly cleared a spot on the dirt floor. The little town was overcrowded due to the census, and this was the only available place for us to lay down our weary heads…and weary we were. Having walked and ridden donkey-back nearly one hundred miles over the past ten days, my very pregnant body ached everywhere. Oh, how I longed for some sleep, even if it was to be found on the cold floor of this dirty barn out back.
Cradle To The Cross - Part 2
After kneeling in awe and worship at the manger of their newborn King, the shepherds had just left. They were so excited, so eager to go and tell others what had happened, sharing all they had seen and heard. I too, was so amazed, but I was much more introspective. I thought about everything that had happened, all the extraordinary things God had already done.
See His Glory, Tell His Story
Surrounded by the gentle breezes of the night sky, I leaned against a cool rock deep in the field. I looked through the darkness, keeping a watchful eye on my flock of sheep. It was a quiet night in these Bethlehem fields. My shepherd friends and I chatted softly to keep ourselves awake through the late hours. Then suddenly an angel burst forth from the darkness, filling the sky with the brilliant radiance of God’s glory.
He Found Rest
I spent the day working in the woodshop, much like every other day. But today I stayed late into the evening, pounding nails and assembling boards, all the while my mind in another place. I was distracted by the news Mary had given me not more than twenty-four hours ago. Her eyes spilled tears as her trembling hand took mine. The words came quietly, slowly from her lips. But there was only one word I heard clearly: pregnant. The rest of what she said faded into a fog of disbelief and confusion.
She Said Yes
It was the middle of a seemingly ordinary day. I went about my work, daydreaming about marrying Joseph and the life we would have together. When I looked up, I saw an angel before me. I took a step back. “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you!” he said to me. I looked around, startled and confused, wondering what this was all about.
He’s Only Just Begun
As I sit in the quiet of this bright Sunday morning, my mind reflects and my heart ponders the pure goodness and power of God. While I would love to be worshipping with my church family this morning, I don’t think I’m quite ready yet. So I sit in the presence of God in the comfort of my recliner. Covered by my new favorite blanket (thanks, Michelle!), and a kidney-shaped pillow laid across my middle, I read about the God of All in The Valley of Vision.
A Tat, A Rap, And A Kidney
In January I got a tattoo, something I never thought I’d do. Not that I have anything against them; it just didn’t seem like me. But a couple months before, I had taught a Bible study lesson from 1 John 3. The first verse resonated so deeply with me that I created my own paraphrase based on my study of the original words and phrases.
Dear Dad
Dear Dad, I can’t believe you’ve been gone a whole year already. I’ve been thinking about you so much these past few days, remembering so many details of this weekend a year ago, not realizing then that they would be my last memories of you this side of heaven. The theme of the last 365 days has been a very hard beautiful: this year has brought deeper pain than I’ve ever experienced, but these days have also brought peace I cannot explain and growth that probably would not have come any other way.
Quietly Waiting
“I wait quietly before the Lord, for my victory comes from him.” We spend a lot of time waiting, don’t we? Nearly every day we wait in line, wait in traffic, wait for our turn at something. There are times when the wait is longer, the wait is harder, the wait is even necessary. And in a world that constantly pushes instant gratification and demands immediate results, the art of waiting quietly is all but lost. Ironically, the word “quietly” is the word that spoke loudest to me when I read Psalm 62:1 a few days ago.
Finding Joy
This is joy! I don’t mean me, Joy; I mean JOY – the deep-seated state of being that comes from truly knowing who you are and choosing to walk freely in it. This is joy that comes from breaking free from the past, breaking free from what others might say or think, breaking free from fear of failure or foolishness. I’ve said before that to feel deeply is to be fully alive – and that includes the greatest joys as well as the deepest pains. While there is a time to mourn and weep, there is also a time to dance and laugh. It says so right there in the Bible. It’s all part of this abundant life.
Called By Name
A seemingly random list of things from my life that God very intentionally orchestrated to speak His truth- repeatedly- throughout the course of just a few days. Allow me to explain:
Fresh Waves
Those of you following my grief journey may know that a few weeks ago I closed on my dad’s house. This was a last big thing included in my realm of responsibilities as executor of his estate. To say it was bittersweet would be an understatement. While it was another powerful reminder of the reality I face, it was also freeing in a strange sort of way, like the closing of a chapter. And I felt like I now had permission (whose, I’m not sure) to begin moving forward.